Please Pass the Seitan

I've always adhered to Aristotle's philosophy of "moderation in all things". I believe that the process of perfecting and optimizing involves searching for the right balance point, rather than pushing toward the extremes.

A few years ago when I saw the need to move to a healthier diet and lifestyle, I began to search for exercise and diet options that might help me lose weight, lower cholesterol and control blood pressure. What I found in my search was a bewildering array of advice from a multitude of sources about diet and lifestyle options for achieving my goals.  I read most all of it; from Atkins to Weil and everything in between. I studied the USDA's new "Food Guide Pyramid". I read about the ancient Ayurvedic method of selecting diet based on body type. I became educated about the evils of inflammation, gluten, refined products, artificial sweeteners, preservatives, GMO, salt, fats and oils.  For every advocate of a given diet, I found an equal and opposite detractor.

What to do? Well, I took refuge in Aristotle's philosophy of "moderation in all things". It seemed like there was a general consensus that a move toward less salt, less meat, less processed food, and more whole plants was a good thing.  So I began walking daily for exercise and following a balanced diet called the DASH diet to help me lose weight, lower my cholesterol and control my blood pressure.  I rejected the extreme ideas and opted for something moderate.

It worked.  I lost 30 pounds, my total cholesterol level came down by 45 points, my blood pressure dropped by 10 points, triglycerides came down to the normal range.  I was proud of myself. I wrote this accomplishment down in my little book of successes and was feeling good about my health.

... but it failed.  Now, after about 4 years of this new "healthy" lifestyle, I have suffered a major heart attack.

Humbled, disappointed, and incredulous, I went crawling in to my cardiologist and asked him if he had any recommendations for diet and lifestyle changes that would help address the cause of my heart disease.  He said "Well, there's a general consensus forming among cardiologists that moving toward a whole foods, plant-based diet can help.  There's a book by Dr. Esselstyn, a well respected doctor from the Cleveland clinic, that is a good reference."

I read the book.  It's extreme.  No meat. No oil. No fish. No nuts. No Avocado. No animal products. Only whole plant food.  Esselstyn seems to think that this diet can prevent and possibly cure heart disease.  A few others sort of agree.  Lots of people think it's ridiculous.  Some people say it's just impossible to follow this diet.

This extreme Esselstyn vegan no oil diet is my new way of eating.

What would Aristotle think of me now?  By way of explanation I could at least tell him that my total cholesterol level is now down to 76 from 198.  Take that, Aristotle.  Maybe I should have abandoned your philosophy years ago.

My new mantra is: Vegan. It’s not who I am, it's just how I eat.

On a lighter note, I leave you with these corny vegan jokes:

Q: Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper?
A: He sold his soul to seitan!

Q: What do you call a Vegan with diarrhea?
A: A Salad Shooter

Q: Why are vegans detrimental to the earth?
A: Because they produce immense amounts of methane.

A vegan has a carrot sticking out of one ear, celery out of the other, and a mushroom up his nose. He goes to the doctor and asks him what's wrong. The doctor tells him, "Well, for one thing, you're not eating right."