A Gossamer Thread of Hope

I mentioned in the previous post that my employment history spans almost forty years, with most of that time spent as a corporate employee. Yet, I have so far presented a very critical view of cubicle life and the corporate work environment. A reasonably astute reader might sense the hypocrisy here and ask: "If the corporate world is such a mad, soul-less environment, why have you stayed there for so long?" I don't have a simple answer. I'm not sure I can even muster a coherent response, but the rambling that follows here is a result of my musings on this question.

A FREUDIAN PERSPECTIVE

Maybe the reason I've stayed in the corporate cubicle all these years is that I lack the courage to follow my own dreams and I'm too cynical, self-centered, and independent to give my life's energy to a worthy cause. Maybe I am neither a leader nor a follower. Maybe I am neither a team player nor a coach. Maybe I'm a prisoner inside myself, caught between fear of failure on one side and doubt of success on the other. Maybe I am a resident of the nether land of mediocrity, where tortured souls sit, fret, and sink into the quicksand of cynicism and self-loathing because they are afraid to launch themselves onto the sea of life. Maybe I am a Freudian psychoanalyst's dream of neurosis and suppressed desires. Maybe my psyche is such a Gordian knot of dysfunction that it would stymie the sword-stroke of psychoanalysis to untie it. Maybe this is why I've spent so many years in the cubicle. Maybe I'm just avoiding life.

A POSSIBLE EXIT POINT

And maybe you should stop reading right here, cover yourself with a suffocating shroud of despair, and accept the futility and hopelessness of life in the corporate cubicle. If you choose to read on from here, be aware that I am going to taunt you with a gossamer thread of hope that may give you reason to believe that life as a corporate cubicle worker isn't so bad after all.

A GOSSAMER THREAD OF HOPE

For a different – perhaps more hopeful - perspective on my motivation for staying in the corporate cubicle all these years, I now turn from Freud to Abraham Maslow and his “hierarchy of needs” - otherwise known as Maslow's Pyramid:

If you've taken a college psychology course or attended a corporate-sponsored motivational leadership seminar, you've probably been exposed to Maslow's Pyramid. According to this view of the human psyche, we are motivated to satisfy our needs in a hierarchical fashion, sort of like climbing a ladder. Once needs are met at lower levels, we then increasingly focus on meeting needs at higher levels. We reach the top level of the pyramid when we have experiences where we reach our full potential in terms of what we want to be or do in life.

It seems to me that regarding the “lower level” needs on Maslow's pyramid, life is more about balance than achievement; more about having enough than getting all I can get. In attempting to satisfy my “lower level” needs, perfection is somewhere in the middle, not at the extremes. From this perspective, I can honestly say, “I have enough.” I don't crave more food, a bigger house in a better neighborhood, a nicer car, more security, or more money. I don't have an aching, unfulfilled hunger for more friends, a more loving family, or sexual intimacy. I do confess to a certain anxiety that this balance could disappear in an instant, and I could suddenly face a debilitating deficit of one or more of these things in my life; but at this moment, I am full. I have enough. My life is in balance.

I don't look to my job in the corporate cubicle to satisfy all these needs. I don't expect to have a corporate career that takes me to the pinnacle of Maslow's pyramid. However, being a cubicle worker, a cog in the corporate machine, does play an important part in enabling me to live a balanced and rewarding life.

WHAT I GET FROM MY CORPORATE CUBICLE “CAREER”

First – It's how I make a living. It's how I earn money to provide for the physiological needs and security of myself and my family. My cubicle job is the primary source from which I draw to satisfy basic needs.

Second – My job allows me to participate as a community member. For example, because I have this job, I am a member of the following communities: cubicle workers, IT professionals, [my company] employees. Within these communities, I have friends, acquaintances, mentors, and heroes. I participate and contribute as an individual in these communities.

Third – My job gives me opportunities for personal and professional growth. Here, I can pursue formal education as well as learning from experience. For example, I recently completed a Bachelor's degree which was paid for by the corporation. Over the years, I have attended many professional seminars and been a presenter at some.

PUTTING IT ALL IN CONTEXT

I'm not a careerist. I don't look to my career as the primary source for a fulfilling life. I have a career; the career doesn't have me. At the beginning of the day, I come to the cubicle prepared to make a contribution. Sometimes I am successful; sometimes not. (Sometimes, I feel like I can't possibly do this even one more day.) At the end of the day, I try to take home what I need and leave the rest behind for another day. I don't need the frustrations, but I do need a paycheck.

Over the years, I've learned that perfection and excellence have to be created by means of hard work, skill, and patience. I won't find the perfect career, or the perfect life companion, or the perfect friend just by searching. I have to take what's good enough and work with it to improve it over time.

I recently read an article on forbes.com entitled “Why Our Search For Perfection Fails Us” by Marc and Angel Chernoff. The article closes with this paragraph: “With a little patience and an open mind, over time, I bet that imperfect house evolves into a comfortable home. That imperfect job evolves into a rewarding career. That imperfect friend evolves into a steady shoulder to lean on. And that imperfect lover evolves into a reliable lifelong companion.”

I don't think a career in the corporate cubicle is likely to take anyone to the top level of Maslow's pyramid in and of itself. However, it can be a rewarding career and an important part of living a successful, balanced life. It may bring you to the point of being able to say "I have enough" in terms of lower-level needs and provide a springboard for achieving higher level life goals associated with esteem and self-actualization.

ARE YOU NOBODY, TOO?

There have been times when I have fantasized about being "somebody"; about changing the world; making a difference on a grand scale. But I am becoming more and more comfortable with being nobody; just a cog in the corporate machine; just an ordinary human being; just a dot in the big picture. I've had a great life so far, and I'm nobody. In closing, I offer you another verse from my favorite poet, Emily Dickinson. I imagine it may be of some consolation to those of us who labor in obscurity in the cubicle.

I'm nobody! Who are you?

Are you nobody, too?

Then there's a pair of us -don't tell!

They'd banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!

How public, like a frog

To tell your name the livelong day

To an admiring bog!

From Sense to Nonsense to Madness: A Natural Progression

Looking back over almost forty years of employment, most of it with large corporations, there were times when it all made sense; times when I felt like I was a real person with real skills making a real contribution. Inevitably, these periods of equilibrium were disrupted by destabilizing forces and followed by periods where sense gave way to nonsense and madness loomed on the horizon.

It seems to me that this progression from sense to nonsense to madness is a natural and perhaps unavoidable progression in the lives, businesses, organizations, and institutions of human civilization. It may stem from the prevalent belief that perfection lies at the extreme, not in the middle. It may be a result of seeing life as a competition to maximize certain things. Individuals strive for maximum wealth and freedom; corporations strive for maximum profit and return on invested capital (in fact, they have a fiduciary responsibility to do so). Life and business are portrayed as a zero sum game where there is potentially only one winner, and the winner takes all. "He who dies with the most toys wins", we say. All the leading players in this game are driven, frantic, and desperate to find some kind of advantage over the competition. Greed, fear, and ambition drive people and companies to (and sometimes beyond) the limits of legal activity. Corruption and cronyism compromise the efforts of regulators and governments.

There is a sort of logic driving this progression from sense to nonsense to madness. As the game progresses and builds towards its apogee, the madness becomes pervasive. The world becomes a place where the leaders, power brokers, and news makers all seem to be mad and madly ambitious. Everything becomes polarized. The middle ground is no longer occupied - everyone is moving toward the extremes in an effort to gain some perceived advantage. Voices of moderation are drowned out. Anyone who is not infected with the madness is considered dangerous or insignificant by the growing mad majority. People who were once considered unsavory are elected, hired, and promoted. Corporate job requirements read like a psychological profile of a dysfunctional "Type A" personality.

The message to job applicants and those who seek career advancement is: "We want high energy overachievers. Please apply only if you are are time-conscious, highly competitive, ambitious, business-like, and aggressive. We are looking for high-achieving workaholics who multi-task, drive themselves with deadlines, and are unhappy about delays." If you happen to be patient, relaxed, and easy-going, please don't bother to apply - even if you are twice as smart and three times as capable as any of these stress junkies.

In this super-competitive environment, humans are stripped of their humanity; corporations become soul-less entities without moral or social conscience. It's not that any of the players are evil - they're neither evil or good. Morality does not exist in this world. There is no morality, only logic. Raw business logic. Every decision is strictly a business decision and is driven primarily by the potential short-term impact to the bottom line.

This is the world of Alice in Wonderland, described by author Lewis Carroll in his classic book which was published in 1865. This kind of behavior is nothing new. It has come in regular cycles over the course of human history. In Alice in Wonderland, as the Cheshire cat acknowledges, "everyone is mad here" (except Alice, of course). All the mad characters are self-important, authoritative, and pretentious. None of the characters is evil. There is no morality - only "logic". They try to use logic to justify and explain their absurd behavior. However, if Alice challenges them or presses them for a more rational explanation, they change the subject or otherwise sidestep the inquiry. Alice has little success in using her powers of discernment to make sense of this mad, upside-down, inside-out world where she is unable to get complete answers to her questions from arrogant, self-absorbed characters.

Think about it - Alice's world is an apt metaphor for the corporate cubicle worker's environment. Everywhere there are things that don't make sense, yet the inhabitants use logic to justify their actions and ignore or otherwise deflect rational thinking from non-conforming members... and the madness continues.

I now leave you with one final thought regarding madness in the form of a short poem by Emily Dickinson:

Much Madness is divinest Sense

To a discerning Eye;

Much sense the starkest madness.

'T is the majority

In this, as all, prevails.

Assent, and you are sane;

Demur, -- you're straightway dangerous,

And handled with a chain.

POSTSCRIPT - Added 3/13/10

Thank you for your comments. I apologize for failing to include a drawing to illustrate corporate logic and madness, so I am adding it below. I have included textual notations for clarity.