So, here are a few thoughts on life in the cubicle...
Regarding Privacy
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I don't know a lot about the physics of how sound travels, but my experience working in a cubicle suggests to me that it must flow up, then out, then down in a series of arcs of random length. I don't know how else to explain the fact that the network security guy who sits in the far corner of the cubicle farm sounds like he is sitting beside me while telling engineers why they are blocked from accessing Pandora at work.
Regardless of the physics involved, what it boils down to is that everyone in the cubicle farm hears every word you speak and every sound you make. We hear each other typing, shuffling papers, crunching ice from a cold drink, and tearing pages off of our Dilbert desk calendars. During my years of residence in the cubicle, I have (over)heard all manner of personal conversations; people telling their teenage kids to go mow the lawn, people describing intimate details of romantic encounters and spats with lovers; Managers explaining to subordinate managers how to deal with people who have been ranked as #2, but want to be #1. I know who is trying to get their furnace fixed or their car repaired; I have witnessed negotiations for the purchase of cars, houses, and in-home entertainment systems. I hear people making arrangements for golfing tee times, eating out, airline flights, cruises, marriage counseling, and doctor appointments. We hear each other cough, sneeze, blow our noses, belch, snort, laugh, curse, and fart.
This morning, I thought I heard someone peeing in their cubicle, which would have been novel behaviour to witness, even for a seasoned cubicle dweller. However, it was followed by gurgling and hissing sounds, at which point I realized that what I had heard was someone filling their in-cubicle coffee-maker... which brings me to my next point for comment.
Regarding Posessions
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The Corporate Cubicle Police, operating under cover as Workplace Services or Environmental Health and Safety employees, are ever vigilant about establishing and enforcing rules and policies about how cubicles can be (re)configured and what posessions cubicle dwellers are allowed to have in their cloth-covered boxes. They are especially sensitive about things that plug in and get hot, like coffee-makers, electric heaters, etc.
I'm quite sure that the cubicle dweller I heard filling their in-cubicle coffee-maker was violating some sort of corporate rule; However, a small in-cubicle coffee-maker is not an egregious or notable violation of cubicle rules and statutes. A more interesting case is one that I observed several years ago shortly after after starting a new position in the R&D lab. I arrived one morning to the smell of bacon cooking. Driven by curiosity, I followed my nose to the cubicle of an electrical engineer, where I found him cooking and serving a full breakfast - consisting of eggs, bacon, pancakes, coffee, and orange juice - to co-workers. I feel confident that his hot plate, griddle, coffee-maker, and refrigerator were not exactly sanctioned by the cubicle police, one of whom was in line for breakfast! I took my place in line to be served and thoroughly enjoyed my breakfast. I soon learned that this was a regular monthly event using food donated by R&D cubicle dwellers. Sadly, this engineer/breakfast cook was laid off some time ago in one of the first waves of corporate restructuring. I suspect they got rid of him primarily because he was providing stiff competition for the company cafeteria.
Regarding Social Status
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At first glance, the cubicle farm seems like a remarkably egalitarian and homogeneous place, with row after row of little cloth covered boxes, all nicely color-coordinated and provisioned with standard, built-in furnishings.
However, this apparent manufactured consistency belies the fact that cubicle workers are stratified into several distinct social sub-classes. We cubicle workers like to differentiate ourselves - much like "normal" human beings do - by sending signals regarding our status relative to other cubicle workers.
In the cubicle farm where I work, most cubicle dwellers have cubicles of about six feet by ten feet with built-in cubicle furniture arranged in one of a few "approved" configurations consisting of built-in work surfaces, an ergonomically correct office chair, and a not-so-ergonomically-correct visitor's chair. Also included are a couple of lockable bookshelves, an open bookshelf, and a lockable drawer unit. This cubicle configuration is occupied by "middle class" cubicle citizens.
For those cubicle dwellers who are better than "middle class", but who aren't important enough to get a real office, there are a few distinctive features which are available to signal their elevated status. Following are some cubicle features which signal elevated status:
Translucent panel - some cubicles, while not appreciably larger than "middle class", are configured with a translucent panel next to the aisle in place of the usual cloth-covered panel. This configuration usually means you are a first-level supervisor or manager. It is an unspoken rule that "individual contributors" are forbidden from having a translucent panel in their cubicle.
Bigger cubicle with a small round conference table - These cubicles are occupied by operational managers and are often located at the "head" of a row of cubicles occupied by underlings.
Even bigger cubicle with lots of translucent panels, a round or oval conference table, and a separate work area for an "admin assistant" - these cubicles are usually located on a strategic corner of the cubicle farm and are occupied by people who are managers of managers and have an admin assistant to manage their precious time. Their position might be called something like "integrating manager".
I could go on, but you get the idea. There's a caste system in the cubicle farm in which higher level members have ways of signaling their coveted status in the corporate pecking order. Astute and ambitious members of cubicle society know how to recognize these subtle signals of status and show the proper deference and attitude in order to maximize their potential for advancement to the next level in the corporate hierarchy.
Regarding me being astute and ambitious
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Alas, after almost thirty years here, I don't even have a translucent panel in my cubicle. So much for being astute and ambitious. It's probably too late to start now. However, I would like to have a coffee mug heater if I can sneak it in past the cubicle police. It's never to late to start being sneaky and devious :-)
In my 6 years as a professional, I have been lucky enough to escape the corporate cubicle city by working in a dying American manufacturing industry where huge factory buildings have real offices with real walls that were filled with 20 some odd engineers and their secretaries in the glory days of the post industrial revolution economy but are now quite empty.
ReplyDeleteNowadays, as there is no longer a need to have a secretary type up our experimental reports (we can do it ourselves on our fancy personal computers), and as a great portion of our business has been "best shored" to China (namely the furniture sanding market), the 3 or 4 engineers still left developing products at the factory have their pick of which walls and windows they would like to inhabit 40 of their 100 or so waking hours each week. In fact, as I write this comment, I can see the sky, trees, passers by, and other employees leaving for lunch, and, although there is an animated conversation going on next door, I can't make out the details through the insulation.
Jealous? :)
I do somewhat envy that you can boast that you are employed in the modern working world and adapting - evolving even - into what is becoming the future human species. The indicators are all right there in this post - new standards of communication, new laws, and of course, a new heirarchy. I have seen truly evolved members of the human species in the world, and I am honestly just uncomfortable around them. They discuss their personal lives in great detail at the top of their lungs over their cell phones. I would never do this being too accustomed to privacy and a less modern world. They must have achieved the next level of existence quite possibly thanks to the cubicle life you speak of - or possibly with some help from reality TV.
The inevitability in all evolution, of course, is the non-conformist. The person that refuses to accept that this is the path that is best for the human race. We call this person sneaky and devious, but is he really? Or does he just dare to challenge the way that the mob has chosen to be the "true" way - much like the breakfast chef.
In the end, although I do have walls, my working environment is modern enough that I have learned that while it quickly becomes too late to be astute and ambitious - aka be an egotistical jerk - it is never too late to join in the ranks of the non-conformists in an effort to provide a different perspective on the evolution of mankind.
Good luck, my fellow non-conformist, and let your coffee mug warmer remind you that while you are still able and willing to steal even an iota of freedom from the cubicle police, you still have a soul.